Going back to the club after 2 months

Tonight is the night.
I'm going back to the club.

The timing is sorta strange, semi-inconvenient but nonetheless - it's here.

My stage name has been Natalia for years. But, beginning tonight, as I start my BEGINNING OF THE END of the life - I will change my name to Vivian. It just sorta came to me.

After touring, living on a bus with 12 people, traveling from city to city, and getting paid (for once) more than dancing - I wonder how much I will be able to re-transition back into that mindset of dancing semi-naked around a pole, talking to strangers as if I really give a crap about their pretentious attitude and their stories of exaggerated self-importance.

I pray that I will see the opportunity to connect with the human being inside of such a savage place. I know I'll be okay. I'm just gettin ready ...

-C

Hi there everybody (all of maybe 2 folks ... heh he). What a busy busy world we live in, eh? I'm constantly reminded of how self-important we all are.
With that said... I'm going to talk about myself. HA! But, not because I love doing that ... it's because I need to sometimes hear myself so that I can understand at what point of ridiculousness my thinking is at. Sometimes it's raw and really out in the middle of nowhere where my cell phone gets no bars. Sometimes, it's right in the middle of night street lights - dense with people swerving together ... like a school of fish.
Lately, I've just been chillin' since I got back from the road. Oh yea ... lemme explain. So, I mentioned that I am a concert tour photographer. See. I'm not a "lying stripper" ... I'm an oxymoron ... an "honest stripper". But, I'm being sarcastic ... I will THAT explain later.

For now ... yes, I am a concert tour photographer. I work for a major sponsor and live on a bus with 12 other people several weeks, sometimes months, at a time. Imagine that? Sounds fun. It certainly is. But I can promise you that human beings really stink after a while.
However, that is besides the point. As I was saying ... I've been chilling and haven't been back to the club for almost 2 months. You see, I've been dancing off and on for 6 years. I started doing it in San Francisco (I lived there up til' 2 years ago). Yea. That's not the cheapest place to live. So, in order to do these silly unpaid, full-time, Monday-Friday journalism and multi-media internships, I HAD to get creative.
There I was -- swinging on a brass pole at night while fact checking for Mother Jones Magazine and producing radio during the day. I guess you can say that I'm a pretty seasoned, "exotic dancer", "stripper", "naked entertainer" ... or slut. Your label about me all depends on what sorta dysfunctional background you come from, I guess. :::Raising My HAND::: I come from one too! No judgments.

As I was saying, I haven't been back to the club in 2 months. And for the first time in my life I seriously, seriously don't want to. I think I've learned all that I need to from that experience and am entering a new phase in my life. I've recently realized something about this blog. I'm BEGINNING to write about stripping just as I'm ready to RETIRE my clear stilettos. I am entering the "hindsight" of it all (pun intended). Hindsight? Yes. There is MUCH to be learned about life through stripping -- if you pay attention.

OH ... and one reader asked me if I like it? Yes. I like it. I like the expression dancing part of it (and OTHER things that I will explore in this blogging journey). But, when it comes down to drunken, fraternity "I never come to these sorts of places" boys -- no --- I don't like it. But, yes -- I love moving slowly, sweating, and the liberating feeling I get from dancing on stage.


I have many, many stories and hard lessons learned and look forward to exploring them here with you. I'm just giving some "obligatory" background info so that you know I'm human. Oh no! Human.
Yes. I am. How do I know this?
I just blew my nose. Gross.

Thanks to my already life friends and new readers for coming by ... it's very cool to spill the beans with you.
Come back tomorrow ... I will have a gift.


Til then ...
--C

Naked Undulating - Vulnerably Speaking

Oh .... so there's sorta a little side job I have. On the side like salad - and salad dressing, (I like Ranch dressing but sometimes I like blue-cheese). As in "I am really" a professional documentary/concert photographer. But whatever, that's not the point. The point is that I'm also a stripper. An exotic dancer. I undulate on a pole. Frankly, I am sick of it. But, gotta keep doing it for a little while. You see, I also sing and write. As for the possible (impossible) alternative, that is: sitting at a beige desk. No. That sounds as fun to me as, oh let's say - smelling my fingers after digging into my belly button, (have you ever done that?). I have never done that. But, I hear it stinks.
Anyway, "photography", "singing", "writing", "stripping". It all goes together like gravity and the earth.
What was I saying? Oh yes ... dancing naked. So, I figured I would write about this world, not-serious but sometimes serious. And I want to write about the world peripheral to it. It gives me something to do as I contemplate my life. Do you ever do that? Contemplate your life? Anyway, in case you do and you're interested in reading about another little piece of carbon mass's experience with life on earth, swinging around a pole half naked in a club in Austin, TX, (only to come home and contemplate my life -- again -- over some 3 a.m. toast), then you are welcome to knock on my cyber red door, (but you can't ring my bell. That's not free). Well, I don't REALLY let people ring my bell (I don't like how loud it sounds).
I figured it was cool thing to do - write about this - so that it gives me something to do as I sigh and count my funny money and think about God and drunk people, (two things that go together almost as well as Ketchup and chocolate ice cream).
Confused?
I know. But come back and you will be enlightened.
I promise. I think?
Yay.